Lich waffles are pure unbridled evil baked into a crispy, cheese-flavored wafer.

In every culture there are foods that are best left to the experts. In China, otherwise sane men lust after thousand-year-old eggs long buried in the clay and bursting with greens and blues.

Lazy-ass Europeans just stick cabbage in a barrel and wait.

Millennia past in ancient Egypt, one of the Pharoah’s third cousins took a cheese biscuit and some cheese-whiz, pasted them together, and wrapped them up. Then he left them out in the sun to dry. He made millions of them. He then forgot all about them, which is why you can now buy them in your local supermarket. There is no taste more exquisite than three-thousand year old dried cheese, unless perhaps it is your old socks.